This past March our sweet neighbor…I will just call her Mrs. A…..had to move from her home to the east coast to live with her daughter. She turned 92 in June. Up until that time, Mrs. A had a social calendar I could not even keep up with. Every Monday morning Mrs. A left at 7:00 am for a standing appointment at her church counting money from the weekend offerings. She and her friends had regular bridge playing dates and luncheons. The woman was constantly on the go. Mrs. A was witty and engaging.
So imagine my surprise when I came home one Saturday afternoon and was welcomed by the unsettling news that she was moving in with her daughter and it was permanent. Just like that she went from spry and on the go to needing to be in the care of a loved one. I saw a few signs prior. Her children had called on a couple of occasions because of small instances of concern. I had no idea their concerns had risen to this level.
None of her children or grandchildren live in the immediate area, so they had to make the tough decision to move her. The worst part is Mrs. A didn’t know that it was a permanent move. She would have never agreed to it. Her son and daughter called and asked if they could come over and speak to my husband that sunny Saturday afternoon. They discussed practical issues surrounding her having to vacate her home. Then my husband joined them back at Mrs. A’s house so he could tell her goodbye….he did this knowing she wasn’t coming back and also with the understanding that she was unaware. I don’t know how he kept his composure. He too is very fond of Mrs. A.
I couldn’t do it. They were leaving the next morning and I couldn’t even go over and tell her goodbye. I knew I would get upset and this would be confusing to her.
So, instead I write her from time to time-sharing area news and updating her on the status of her yard, trees and shrubs….all things she meticulously cared for.
This is a shot of her crepe myrtle which is just starting to bloom.
Then there is my crepe myrtle….puny and childlike in comparison. Kinda symbolic don’t you think?
I am sending her the images this week. I know Mrs. A will enjoy hearing from me. She’ll also get a good laugh one more time about my crepe myrtle which has never taken off.
Sometimes goodbyes are just too difficult.